U Got it Bad- Usher

Just a quick update....

So the other day my girlfriend was saying how she had an anxiety attack and freaked out and how shes still not over everything that happened with her ex and she needs to take things slow and that she really likes me and cares about me and wants to do things right.  And I am sure she meant well with this conversation but it still hurt....I mean I know it takes longer for others to get over their ex's and thats all well and good but I wish she hadn't told me that.  Now I am afraid to do anything that might freak her out and I am definitely not saying i love you unless she does.  It did suck to hear that...I don't wanna get hurt and if she's not over the things that happened with her ex then that scares me.... So I think I'll give her space this week and then only go into Boston if I have to work at starbucks...which I havnt started yet because the stupid application got messed up at another branch that I havn't even interviewed at!! ugh...always an issue....

Good news is I have a job interview tomorrow for nursing which is super exciting and I hope I rock it!
and the countdown begins to be back in Boston with Mel!! 2 weeks to go!! I cannot wait!

I  have so much packing to do but its all soooo worth it! :)

peace and love,

Kelli

Bubbly- Colbie Caillat

So these past few weeks have been a whirl wind for me. So much has happened, my sister and Kevin broke up and she called me sobbing it was terrible I was so far away and couldn't help :( Luckily I talked to my friend who lives nearby and she was able to get there for me and help Amanda. I am very glad she is no longer hurting because I don't want anyone to hurt her! 

So with my going and meeting new people I have met several more people, one I met at starbucks and she was super nice. We hung out several times and I was excited to have her as a friend...she just got a job at the thinking cup and I was hoping for some discounted drinks. so anyway we went out for burritos that evening and kelli and her gf were coming over because later we were going to a traffic light party so we had to pregame. Kelli's gf and this girl, lilly, knew each other because apperently she lived with kelli's gf's ex. So they talked and we invited lilly to the party and she decided why not. I let her borrow a shirt and earrings and we had a few drinks. I was pretty tipsy when we left so and were meeting Kelli's gf there because she wanted to change. So i don't remember too much of what happened at this party, I apperently gave Kelli a black eye and made out on a couch in front of one of the girls I have been seeing with Lilly. So Kelli's gf drove Lilly and I back to my apt. where we were making out the in her backseat...and anyway long story short Lilly and I had a lot of fun. She ended up getting sick and leaving though so in the morning I was like in shock about everything and didn't remember a lot. I did not however get sick.  So Kelli's gf filled me in on the basics and then I needed to talk to Lilly. So i guess she didn't know how drunk i was when we were making out and she made a point of saying she didn't want a relationship and I said i just wanted to have fun (which i have no recollection of) so she kind of freaked out that i don't know my limits and was like i don't know if i can be friends with you ... so i may have lost her as a friend which really sucks cause I really liked hanging out with her. Maybe after a few weeks she'll be down for some fro yo again...

So I have also met a few other people one girl seemed super cool and fun and we hung out went to the improv asylum and I even went to salsa dancing with her... which i NEVER would have done... like ever... so I freaked out and was terrible and ended up leaving early but she was not to upset about it and understood my anxiety so I am thankful. She did however freak out a little when she found out I was still friends with my ex and was weirded out and i thought she was done with me, but i guess she got over it and started talking to me again and asked when we can hang out. so yeah. I also hung out with another girl who is so cool, but I can't figure out how she feels about me and everything...we talked like non stop and went for a nice walk... i feel like i need to spend more time with her to see how she feels about me. but I am definitely doing what i have been wanting to do with meeting new people and branching out and trying new things.

I can not wait to move into our apt. in September!!! Kelli and I are going to have so much fun!!! I am coming back from Maine, where I am currently on vacation, Tuesday and spending my last two days at work at starbucks before I officially don't work there anymore :) WOOT!!! I am totally ok with that because I am going to get more hours at the gym and more responsiblitiy :) YAY!!! 

I am totally nervous to start school again, but with my part time status I feel like I can be more confident and excel this year. I have too! I want too! so that's all for now

Peace and love
-Mel

Ships in the Night- Mat Kearney

So I am officially employed at Starbucks lol
I know its not a nursing job but I am happy that I can pay for rent!
I can't believe I move in so soon to my apartment! I need soooo much stuff still and time is running out!!
I am also trying to deal with my moms issues and it is getting better day by day but I just want her to accept me for me :)

My girlfriend also told me she loved me this past weekend :) I have known that I loved her for a couple weeks but I wanted her to be ready and say it to me first and she did :) Mel did mention something at the bar on Friday night but thankfully she was feeling mutual so it was fine...btw Mel, thanks for the black eye :P but it was a super fun night except for the fact that I got wayyyyy tooooo drunk and got super sick with my girlfriend which was super embarrassing and now I can no longer say I have never been sick.... o well...I guess it happens to everyone lol

Thats all for now :)
Peace out girlscout

-Kelli

Stronger- Kelly Clarkson

Okay, so since I last wrote a lot has happened. The biggest being Kevin broke up with me. It all happened so suddenly and with no warning but I think it would be best for me to write everything down that happened.

It all started Thursday at work. Kevin showed up to my job with a dozen beautiful pink roses and two cards saying how much he loves me. I ran up to him gave him a hug and a kiss. When it was time to leave work he asked me what I wanted to do. After working six hours I wanted to go to sleep, it was 10:30pm I had to work another 6 hours and then drive up to Boston that night, then run a 5k on Saturday. He asked me to spend 15 minutes with him. Of course I said yes and spent over 20 minutes in his car talking and kissing and what not. I went home and went to sleep.

Friday I went to work, drove up to Boston and went to sleep. Saturday I ran The Color Run with Kelli, Mel and a bunch of friends. It was so much fun! Then we went out on Saturday, I definitely got drunk, but not super drunk. In the morning Kelli told me that Kevin posted a picture on facebook and was wondering what was going on with it. I looked at the picture and texted him. The picture was him doing a sort of prom dance pose with another girl and his hands were quite low on her back…like basically resting on her butt. I trust him and told him that I was just upset about how it looked, the fact that my friends he was friends with could see it and my parents could see it as well. I told him that, I told him I don’t care what he posts on facebook I just want him to be aware of who can see it and how that makes me look. So anyway I texted him to let him know I got home safely and he was making short one word responses so I asked him if he was upset, he said he was pissed. I called him and asked him what was going on. He said that it was a mix of the facebook thing and everything else. He was mad he had to ask to spend 15 minutes with me after I had just got off work on Thursday and that I only sent him short texts on Friday and Saturday.

So to make him happy I invited him over on Monday, I didn’t have work so we would have the whole day together. I had listened to what he was saying so I tried to address all the things he mentioned. I gave him one of the presents I made him for his birthday on Monday, a scrapbook page. We talked for hours about what we were upset with. He was not holding back about the facebook picture and when I asked him to untag himself he was really upset about it. Obviously I can’t tell him what to post on facebook but I did tell him if he posts things I don’t like I will let him know and he will have some explaining to do… we cooked dinner together. I thought we addressed everything. We spent the rest of the night cuddling on the couch watching the Olympics.

So unfortunately the next morning I saw he posted on facebook that he couldn’t sleep he was stressed. So I texted him and asked him what was up. He said he was still upset and that he talked to his family and now he feels knows what he should do. …When I saw that he talked to his family when he was upset I immediately called him. I know that it would be disastrous. He did not answer my phone call so I texted him asking him why he was upset. And did not get a response until like two hours later. He said “I don’t want you to change for me. I don’t want you to despise me. I am letting you go.” Obviously after that text I called him and he said he was with his mom in the car but he could talk. I asked him if he was breaking up with me and he said he was. I hung up and was crying. I tried calling my sister, kelli, my mom, my dad, and another friend. I finally got a call from my friend and she came over as soon as she could. She sat with me while I cried and then we got fro yo and I went from being upset to pissed.

Within seconds of hanging up with me he changed his relationship status on facebook to single and I just started thinking about all the things we disagree on. I felt like he still had maturing and growing up to do. I knew his family had told him to break up with me and the fact that he actually listened…and did it over text! I was pissed. So I vented and then had to go to work that night. I tried to talk to my friend at work about it but it was Sunday night so it just sucked. When I had did all the venting I could I sent Kevin a text asking for closure. I thought I needed closure; it went to fast, unannounced and just random. I wanted to hear why he actually did it. I also brought the rest of his birthday present. He gave me a coffee maker he told me he would get me. When I got home I noticed it was used. It still had water in it and was missing pieces. But oh well. I was also disappointed that he really didn’t even say much. I spent like a hour talking to him, and I basically said I’m glad that you broke up with me now because now I can go to grad school totally unattached and without having to worry about him on top of everything else. I also told him that if he was as easily influenced by his family as that it would not be good. At the end he was like “your so oblivious” and I was like what? And was like I don’t want to be blunt and mean I told him it doesn’t matter anymore so finally he said “you’re the wedge that’s been prying me apart from my family.” I looked at him and was like “Im glad you finally were able to hear what I was saying.” Then I ran off. Lol and I saw he defriended me. I was so over it by then.

A few days later he texts me saying he wants to talk. So we meet for breakfast and my goal going in is just to listen. I didn’t want to talk anymore. I had already said everything. So he talked. Mostly said how he made a mistake and was doing everything in his power not to beg for me to take him back. Any way we both agreed that now was not a good time to be together.

I went home to find my coffee maker wasn’t working and it didn’t have the instruction manual so I texted him and he said he would come look at it. So he came over this morning.  He fixed it and spent like an hour talking. Then he told me he wanted to kiss me. I was like that’s not a good idea. He was like I agree that we should not be in a relationship today but he was like I think we can still show affection. Anyway he left with a hug. Half an hour later he knocked on my door again and was like I forgot something. And he kissed me. So now I’m just more confused. Its so easy to tell him when he is not sitting right there that I don’t want a relationship but when he is in front of me it’s a little harder. We kissed. But we are by no means back together. I don’t know what is going to happen later but I am going to make sure I wait a while before I see him again.

-Amanda