Truly Madly Deeply- Savage garden

so I have done it again....
Why am I addicted to being in a relationship...
I met this awesome girl online and we have so much in common....we have talked and texted everyday until today.... I have this deep gut feeling from the wall around my heart that something bad is going to happen and that I shouldn't get excited or get wrapped in something where I can see myself getting hurt...
We have so much in common though...she likes to be active, we both have a believe tattoo, both love justin bieber and country music, we both hate the color orange, we have music videos with our best friend and she is actually the same height as me....shes also super funny and always keeps me on my toes...
I am going to see her next weekend but I don't want to get excited because what if she decides to ditch.... I mean we have no commitment whatsoever....at this point we are just friends...like she could be talking to like 15 different girls right now and having sex with who knows who and here I am over-thinking as always....
She left me a drunk voicemail last night which was super cute and funny and we texted this morning and then nothing at all and then she called me and said she had to call her mom and would call me right back but then she never did...not even a text....I am definitely over-thinking but still....

I also saw my best friend this weekend which was awesome! I miss her so much....I feel so alone without her here....I have mel and all but shes always busy with other people....I graduated and people are all over the place and I fell like such a loser sometimes with no friends....o well....

At least I have my job to keep me sane :)

Thats all for now...

-Kelli

Don't Wake Me Up- Chris Brown

So last week was my second week of work and it went really well :) Except on thursday I started to get sick and have been ever since :( just a really bad cold
I still have occasonal dreams about natalie and it just makes me so mad....I am going to be super guarded from now on...I mean the first couple month of any relationship are the best but now I know her true colors... I liked her so much and I even loved her.... and I was crushed... but I am over the being sad part, now I am just mad...
I met a girl yesterday though! She is so much like me...its kinda creepy actually...
we both have a believe tattoo, we both love Justin Bieber and country music, we both hate the color orange, we both love dark chocolate and hate milk chocolate, we both love converse and plaid flannels, she has random dance parties and her best friend and her made a call me maybe video! its so crazy! I hope I can hang out with her soon :) shes pretty awesome :)
And I miss Amanda so much :(
Thats all for now :)

Peace, Love, Music

-Kelli

Defying Gravity- Wicked

So I have officially been in grad school for a month. So far I have had two quizzes in anatomy and kinesiology, four quizzes and a midterm in neuroanatomy, three papers and two presentations in pathology, a paper and a presentation in intro to ot, a paper in therapeutic use of self and then next week I have another midterm, another paper, and two presentations! whoohoo. But despite all this work I am actually enjoying learning this stuff. And I am doing fairly well, I got a 95 on one paper, and a 94 on the midterm. :)

I really miss kelli and melissa!! My roommates are very nice, but they are not my best friends and they often complain about how they hate connecticut and hate sacred heart, it was not my first choice either but i never go as far as hating it because then I will just always feel miserable. I am also from connecticut...and I mean its not my favorite place, certainly this area is totally different then where I am from, but they just generalize to the whole state and it kinda hurts my feelings. I also feel left out because I cant study with them, we are studying two different things and I feel like if I ask them to listen to my presentation I am taking time away from something they could be studying... But I did ask them to listen to my presentation and they did listen and I did do a spinal curve assessment on Julie and she was totally cool with it.

But like I said they are nice and good friends. We have gone out together and had fun. We made a tee shirt for Nigel, our resident skeleton, and had just dance parties together.

Okay well now I just have to go study... 

Basket Case- Green Day

From Amanda a super long time ago and I forgot to post it...SORRY!!

These past two weeks have been insane. I moved to a new house with three girls I have never met before (well i met one briefly for a few hours). I also started graduate school.

Okay so first things first. my new living situation. I live with three girls, Ashly who is from Philly. She is awesome! we get along great. In some ways she reminds me of Kelli, but obviously is not kelli. Julie is from Utah, she is also awesome! both of them are super nice and the three of us get along well. Heather is our fourth roommate. she is nice, but she is a little more reserved then the three of us. The house is fun. I love my new room. I just am not a fan of connecticut...not much to do and you have to drive everywhere. plus everything is expensive and I dont get student loan money until the middle of september.

Grad school is hard! like really really hard! like take the most stressful time in college and that is every single week in grad school!! I have not done much for fun because every free moment is spent trying to catch up. Right away i was assigned a presentation that was due later that week, and it was not a simple presentation it was a 20 minute presentation on the stages of cellular healing in connective, bone, nerve and muscle tissue. I am excited to become an OT but it is not going to be easy.

In other news kevin asked me out on a date...I feel like i need to give him a second chance, because he sent me flowers (well they were actually from before he broke up with me) and a box of chocolate covered strawberries. He has been trying his best to show me he is trying to change, so i feel like i should at least give him a chance. we will see. its just a date. I plan on hanging with my roommates later that night.

-Amanda

Dancing in a Burning Room- John Mayer

So I feel like I should star in my own L word... starring Mel.  First of all, I moved into my new apartment with the help of friend and now my ex girlfriend and everything was fine.  I went to a concert with her and her parents and had a great time.  The next day she didn't wanna hang out while I waited for Mel's furniture and she wanted to hang out with her room mate which was fine.  So a couple hours later she says she is going to come get me later and then 30 minutes later she says her room mate reminded her of things that happened in a past relationship which made her think and then she found out her ex left her for a 40 year old man and then got an email from her ex so she couldnt see me.  SO I met up and we talked and we agreed that we needed a couple days of space but within a day I knew I wanted to be with her and she was going to come over until 60 minutes before she decided she couldnt and needed more space.  SO I gave her the space and she came over last sunday and broke my heart.  Basically said she didn't care about me and didn't feel butterflies or rainbows and has been having doubts for the past 2 weeks.  Like what the fuck.  Thanks for tearing my heart out, frying it, and dancing on it and throwing it back it.  I was miserable for the first couple of days.  The things with a broken heart is that you can't make it go away, only time makes it go away which sucks.

So I went on okcupid to try to get over her and I talked to a few girls and then Mel found her on there. Like seriously?! over me that fast??? In 5 fucking days! whatever...I do want to be friends with her and I hope I am able to do that. 

All week long I just concentrated on my new job and getting into that and I talked to a couple girls...one with really poufy hair and i'm not into that and the other girl was super cool but had court on Friday which is kind of scary lol but she is super nice. Then I talked to this other girl and giving my number was mistake because she called and wouldn't get off until I lied about my room mate needing help and then I deleted her because she was stalkerish and I woke up to a text this morning saying that I was a cunt...and I just laughed.  I mean I only wants friends right now anyways but I've come to the conclusion that girls are fucking crazy!
I also met up with me ex girlfriend from last school year and it was really nice, I had a really good time, I missed her :)
Maybe I could be Shane from the L word...except I am super girly and don't sleep around...hmmm maybe I am more of an alice.
And lastly, I get an email from my ex this afternoon saying she really wants to be friends and of course I do too and I'll give it a try, I just don't know when or if I will be able to see her and not feel anything...I hope I can :)

-Kelli

U Got it Bad- Usher

Just a quick update....

So the other day my girlfriend was saying how she had an anxiety attack and freaked out and how shes still not over everything that happened with her ex and she needs to take things slow and that she really likes me and cares about me and wants to do things right.  And I am sure she meant well with this conversation but it still hurt....I mean I know it takes longer for others to get over their ex's and thats all well and good but I wish she hadn't told me that.  Now I am afraid to do anything that might freak her out and I am definitely not saying i love you unless she does.  It did suck to hear that...I don't wanna get hurt and if she's not over the things that happened with her ex then that scares me.... So I think I'll give her space this week and then only go into Boston if I have to work at starbucks...which I havnt started yet because the stupid application got messed up at another branch that I havn't even interviewed at!! ugh...always an issue....

Good news is I have a job interview tomorrow for nursing which is super exciting and I hope I rock it!
and the countdown begins to be back in Boston with Mel!! 2 weeks to go!! I cannot wait!

I  have so much packing to do but its all soooo worth it! :)

peace and love,

Kelli

Bubbly- Colbie Caillat

So these past few weeks have been a whirl wind for me. So much has happened, my sister and Kevin broke up and she called me sobbing it was terrible I was so far away and couldn't help :( Luckily I talked to my friend who lives nearby and she was able to get there for me and help Amanda. I am very glad she is no longer hurting because I don't want anyone to hurt her! 

So with my going and meeting new people I have met several more people, one I met at starbucks and she was super nice. We hung out several times and I was excited to have her as a friend...she just got a job at the thinking cup and I was hoping for some discounted drinks. so anyway we went out for burritos that evening and kelli and her gf were coming over because later we were going to a traffic light party so we had to pregame. Kelli's gf and this girl, lilly, knew each other because apperently she lived with kelli's gf's ex. So they talked and we invited lilly to the party and she decided why not. I let her borrow a shirt and earrings and we had a few drinks. I was pretty tipsy when we left so and were meeting Kelli's gf there because she wanted to change. So i don't remember too much of what happened at this party, I apperently gave Kelli a black eye and made out on a couch in front of one of the girls I have been seeing with Lilly. So Kelli's gf drove Lilly and I back to my apt. where we were making out the in her backseat...and anyway long story short Lilly and I had a lot of fun. She ended up getting sick and leaving though so in the morning I was like in shock about everything and didn't remember a lot. I did not however get sick.  So Kelli's gf filled me in on the basics and then I needed to talk to Lilly. So i guess she didn't know how drunk i was when we were making out and she made a point of saying she didn't want a relationship and I said i just wanted to have fun (which i have no recollection of) so she kind of freaked out that i don't know my limits and was like i don't know if i can be friends with you ... so i may have lost her as a friend which really sucks cause I really liked hanging out with her. Maybe after a few weeks she'll be down for some fro yo again...

So I have also met a few other people one girl seemed super cool and fun and we hung out went to the improv asylum and I even went to salsa dancing with her... which i NEVER would have done... like ever... so I freaked out and was terrible and ended up leaving early but she was not to upset about it and understood my anxiety so I am thankful. She did however freak out a little when she found out I was still friends with my ex and was weirded out and i thought she was done with me, but i guess she got over it and started talking to me again and asked when we can hang out. so yeah. I also hung out with another girl who is so cool, but I can't figure out how she feels about me and everything...we talked like non stop and went for a nice walk... i feel like i need to spend more time with her to see how she feels about me. but I am definitely doing what i have been wanting to do with meeting new people and branching out and trying new things.

I can not wait to move into our apt. in September!!! Kelli and I are going to have so much fun!!! I am coming back from Maine, where I am currently on vacation, Tuesday and spending my last two days at work at starbucks before I officially don't work there anymore :) WOOT!!! I am totally ok with that because I am going to get more hours at the gym and more responsiblitiy :) YAY!!! 

I am totally nervous to start school again, but with my part time status I feel like I can be more confident and excel this year. I have too! I want too! so that's all for now

Peace and love
-Mel

Ships in the Night- Mat Kearney

So I am officially employed at Starbucks lol
I know its not a nursing job but I am happy that I can pay for rent!
I can't believe I move in so soon to my apartment! I need soooo much stuff still and time is running out!!
I am also trying to deal with my moms issues and it is getting better day by day but I just want her to accept me for me :)

My girlfriend also told me she loved me this past weekend :) I have known that I loved her for a couple weeks but I wanted her to be ready and say it to me first and she did :) Mel did mention something at the bar on Friday night but thankfully she was feeling mutual so it was fine...btw Mel, thanks for the black eye :P but it was a super fun night except for the fact that I got wayyyyy tooooo drunk and got super sick with my girlfriend which was super embarrassing and now I can no longer say I have never been sick.... o well...I guess it happens to everyone lol

Thats all for now :)
Peace out girlscout

-Kelli

Stronger- Kelly Clarkson

Okay, so since I last wrote a lot has happened. The biggest being Kevin broke up with me. It all happened so suddenly and with no warning but I think it would be best for me to write everything down that happened.

It all started Thursday at work. Kevin showed up to my job with a dozen beautiful pink roses and two cards saying how much he loves me. I ran up to him gave him a hug and a kiss. When it was time to leave work he asked me what I wanted to do. After working six hours I wanted to go to sleep, it was 10:30pm I had to work another 6 hours and then drive up to Boston that night, then run a 5k on Saturday. He asked me to spend 15 minutes with him. Of course I said yes and spent over 20 minutes in his car talking and kissing and what not. I went home and went to sleep.

Friday I went to work, drove up to Boston and went to sleep. Saturday I ran The Color Run with Kelli, Mel and a bunch of friends. It was so much fun! Then we went out on Saturday, I definitely got drunk, but not super drunk. In the morning Kelli told me that Kevin posted a picture on facebook and was wondering what was going on with it. I looked at the picture and texted him. The picture was him doing a sort of prom dance pose with another girl and his hands were quite low on her back…like basically resting on her butt. I trust him and told him that I was just upset about how it looked, the fact that my friends he was friends with could see it and my parents could see it as well. I told him that, I told him I don’t care what he posts on facebook I just want him to be aware of who can see it and how that makes me look. So anyway I texted him to let him know I got home safely and he was making short one word responses so I asked him if he was upset, he said he was pissed. I called him and asked him what was going on. He said that it was a mix of the facebook thing and everything else. He was mad he had to ask to spend 15 minutes with me after I had just got off work on Thursday and that I only sent him short texts on Friday and Saturday.

So to make him happy I invited him over on Monday, I didn’t have work so we would have the whole day together. I had listened to what he was saying so I tried to address all the things he mentioned. I gave him one of the presents I made him for his birthday on Monday, a scrapbook page. We talked for hours about what we were upset with. He was not holding back about the facebook picture and when I asked him to untag himself he was really upset about it. Obviously I can’t tell him what to post on facebook but I did tell him if he posts things I don’t like I will let him know and he will have some explaining to do… we cooked dinner together. I thought we addressed everything. We spent the rest of the night cuddling on the couch watching the Olympics.

So unfortunately the next morning I saw he posted on facebook that he couldn’t sleep he was stressed. So I texted him and asked him what was up. He said he was still upset and that he talked to his family and now he feels knows what he should do. …When I saw that he talked to his family when he was upset I immediately called him. I know that it would be disastrous. He did not answer my phone call so I texted him asking him why he was upset. And did not get a response until like two hours later. He said “I don’t want you to change for me. I don’t want you to despise me. I am letting you go.” Obviously after that text I called him and he said he was with his mom in the car but he could talk. I asked him if he was breaking up with me and he said he was. I hung up and was crying. I tried calling my sister, kelli, my mom, my dad, and another friend. I finally got a call from my friend and she came over as soon as she could. She sat with me while I cried and then we got fro yo and I went from being upset to pissed.

Within seconds of hanging up with me he changed his relationship status on facebook to single and I just started thinking about all the things we disagree on. I felt like he still had maturing and growing up to do. I knew his family had told him to break up with me and the fact that he actually listened…and did it over text! I was pissed. So I vented and then had to go to work that night. I tried to talk to my friend at work about it but it was Sunday night so it just sucked. When I had did all the venting I could I sent Kevin a text asking for closure. I thought I needed closure; it went to fast, unannounced and just random. I wanted to hear why he actually did it. I also brought the rest of his birthday present. He gave me a coffee maker he told me he would get me. When I got home I noticed it was used. It still had water in it and was missing pieces. But oh well. I was also disappointed that he really didn’t even say much. I spent like a hour talking to him, and I basically said I’m glad that you broke up with me now because now I can go to grad school totally unattached and without having to worry about him on top of everything else. I also told him that if he was as easily influenced by his family as that it would not be good. At the end he was like “your so oblivious” and I was like what? And was like I don’t want to be blunt and mean I told him it doesn’t matter anymore so finally he said “you’re the wedge that’s been prying me apart from my family.” I looked at him and was like “Im glad you finally were able to hear what I was saying.” Then I ran off. Lol and I saw he defriended me. I was so over it by then.

A few days later he texts me saying he wants to talk. So we meet for breakfast and my goal going in is just to listen. I didn’t want to talk anymore. I had already said everything. So he talked. Mostly said how he made a mistake and was doing everything in his power not to beg for me to take him back. Any way we both agreed that now was not a good time to be together.

I went home to find my coffee maker wasn’t working and it didn’t have the instruction manual so I texted him and he said he would come look at it. So he came over this morning.  He fixed it and spent like an hour talking. Then he told me he wanted to kiss me. I was like that’s not a good idea. He was like I agree that we should not be in a relationship today but he was like I think we can still show affection. Anyway he left with a hug. Half an hour later he knocked on my door again and was like I forgot something. And he kissed me. So now I’m just more confused. Its so easy to tell him when he is not sitting right there that I don’t want a relationship but when he is in front of me it’s a little harder. We kissed. But we are by no means back together. I don’t know what is going to happen later but I am going to make sure I wait a while before I see him again.

-Amanda

Won't Stop- One Republic

So since I am taking a break from my girlfriend right now I am trying to enjoy my independence and meet new people. It is working to an extent but I still feel kind of alone some of the time. I've met several people some but mostly I think they will be friends though there is this girl who I have hung out with three times and all three times end up in make out sessions...but she's probably leaving the country in October...she is a rocket scientist after all. Anyway I still don't know what I am doing with my life...I don't think I have figured much out except that it's friggin hard to meet people. Oh also that my mother is still not pleased with my life choices and thinks I am going to start dating crazy people..I don't know what will make her happy...I know she worries but she should really trust me I am almost 24 with half a master's degree in social work (you know working with crazy people) I would think she could trust me to figure out that I can judge people. Oh well. At least my goal of getting out of the Simmons Crew circle is working :P I just don't know what I am looking for... it's so weird... and that's what's happening in my life :P

-Mel

Wanted- Hunter Hayes

I've been debating the idea of the reason why I like girls over the past few weeks and I've been wondering if I like girls because I actually like them or because of my bad experience with guys. But ever since I met my girlfriend I've realized it's a lot more than just that idea. She's made me realize that I do like girls but it's much more than that. The feelings I have when I'm with her are incredible, and I feel like nothing else matters. I can't find anything wrong with her and that scares me because no one is perfect but she is... As you can see I'm falling and I'm falling hard. Except every time I think I'm done falling I keep going and it amazes me every time. I've wanted to tell her that I love her but I'm afraid to.... I know it's super early in the relationship but the feelings I have are so strong and I can't explain it except for that fact that I love her.... I want to spend every moment I have with her and when I'm not with her, in trying to figure out how to get to her.

We also went out to dinner with her parents last night and I was so jealous. Her parents love her for her and they don't care who she is with as long as she is happy. Ever since my parents found out, they have been awful to me. I want them to like her and be ok with it and give her a chance. Otherwise they are going to lose their daughter and only child because I'm not changing for them because I want to be happy.

This past weekend was fun :) my friends and girlfriends' friends all ran in the color run which was sooo much fun! It was a 5k and every kilometer was a different color that was thrown at you which was a lot of fun and Amanda and I were able to run the whole thing! At the end they had color throw parties and it was insane! We were completely colored! Then Amanda and my girlfriend went out and we got suppppper drunk lol but that's a different story... Just no more scorpion bowls for a while.

I'm also really worried about Amanda. Kevin is being a complete asshole and I want to punch him in the face. What is this whole faithful shit he's saying. She needs to talk to him to figure it out otherwise she is going to be controlled by him and end like the situation I had with mike. Amanda can do so much better anyways. Kevin is so dumb, does he realize he's going to lose the best girl out there?! She's nice, sweet, honest, innocent, beautiful, and knows what she wants in life... Not too many people are like that.

This week I'm babysitting and trying to earn money while searching for a job and then also trying to figure out when I'll see my girlfriend again. And Mel might come over to search through my house for apartment stuff.

I wanna wrap you up, I Wanna kiss your lips, I wanna make you feel wanted, I wanna call you mine and hold your hand forever, and never let you forget it, cuz baby I want to make you feel wanted.

More to come another time :)

-Kelli

Good Time- Carly Rae Jepson and Owl City

Okay so I know I have not written in a while. But my summer has not been nearly as eventful as mel's or kelli's. Except on Saturday I went to a giant field of sunflowers!! it was amazing! And then my boyfriend took me to a really pretty place and we just sat together, which was nice because we hadn't had much time alone for a while. I also won $100 in bingo. Today I saw a friend who I hadn't seen in a long time and tomorrow I have a date with my boyfriend planned. All of this is kinda boring... BUT i am soooooo exceited because Kelli came back from camp and Saturday is the Color Run!!!! Which means Me, Kelli, and Mel will all be running in a the most colorful race ever! I am heading up friday after work and staying with Kelli and her girlfriend, getting covered in paint, then going out that night for the first time in a Loooooooooong time! :D I can't wait!

-Amanda

Everybody Talks- Neon Trees

So Update on my life lately. I have tried three times to break up with my girlfriend and it is not really working :(. I had promised her that I would go to new jersey to see her family this weekend so that is what I am doing right now :P I tried many times to get out of it but she spent Over $200 on my tickets so I feel bad :( I didn't leave with her yesterday though instead I asked if I could leave today so I would be with her less. It's just hard cause I feel so guilty all the time :( I talked with my therapist and she says that of course I will Nd its also me being angry coming out as guilt.

So I have been trying to go out and meet new people And luckily I have been successful for the most part. I have been on several dates :) a few were successful others not so much. I met one girl at Starbucks when I was working, she came in once while I was working/ giving away samples are we were talking and I was goin to meet up with her after I got out of work but ended up missing her. She mentioned that she would come in and find out when I'm working lol so I was like yay! Then she came in again on Saturday And I got her number!! I was so excited and super glad my supervisor didn't get mad at me in fact I got huge fives all around (joys or working with all guys). So I went out with her Wednesday night and thought she was going to bail on me because she  was first complaining about the weather, than pushed the time back... But she came and she suggested a movie so we went to the movie thearter, but had to wait like 45 mins cause it wasn't playing till later so we went to longhorne and got drinks And talked then saw the movie. It was super good and we decided we were def going to see each other again and this time do dinner too. Now I have to play the waiting game to hear from her... Blah

So the other night I was hanging out with my friend Rebecca whom I hadn't seen for a while and we went out for sushi. We then decided to get gelato then we were walking around. Sometime we decided that we needed to go to a bar so rebecca was wearing workout shorts do we walked back to her apt on beacon hill for her to change. We went to a place near her apt and the left. There was this club called gypsy And we somehow got in without paying a cover charge and without waiting in line... So we were already nice and tipsy and this club was insane... Like super big and super nice!! Anyway I ended up dancing with this girl from MIT who graduated and is now a rocket scientist... Crazy!! Needless to say we had fun... Rebecca and I left around 2am and I got this girls number :P so Sunday i was with another friend going to Sowa a Market in the south end And ended up making plans with the MIT chick for after.  My friend stayed with me till we met up to make sure this person was legit since I was not sober at the time. And she was we went to a bakery/cafe place and then walked aroundz. She was also nice.

So that's what I have been up to :) Monday I'm having an sbux party with all three of my female co workers and we're having kahlua!! :) that's all for now

-Me

Long Hot Summer- Keith Urban

SO its been a week since me and my girlfriend have officially been together! I even ended up asking her myself, while cuddling in my bed underneath my glow in the dark stars and talking about how happy she makes me :)I like her so much! She gives me feelings I've never had before! I love how i feel when I am around her, like i could less what anyone else thinks and its great! All of my friends have met her and think shes awesome!
I am also now at camp as a camp nurse which can be super overwhelming but I am getting used to it :) Being with kids all day long is fun but at night I am so exhausted and want to be away from them lol and I get 24hours off a week and will spend it with my girlfriend more than likely especially because I won't be able to see her much otherwise.  I am also trying to figure out a way she could volunteer here once a week and help me with paperwork. We shall see :)
I miss home life a lot and being around my friends but this is only for 6 weeks and then ill be in Boston with Mel and close to my girlfriend and hopfully have a job :)

Ill write soon :)

-Kelli

Floorplan- Tegan and Sara

So these past couple of weeks have been a crazy whirlwind of everything and every emotion possible! I left to go home last weekend and my girlfriend and I had a fight while I was leaving. She was being clingy and controlling and i was not a fan at all. I was so sick of it. So on my train ride home I receive a text that says I should not contact her till Tuesday and I need to think about stuff. So I was upset for the rest of the ride home then when my sister picked me up we decided I really needed this time so I should enjoy it. I did, and when I went back on Tuesday night because I had t go to Dana Farber on Wednesday she presented me with a power point which kind of made me upset, but I also had a list and we talked. I decided I still wanted my space and needed to think and figure out my life before I can be with her. So I am still on a break and am trying to go out and meet new people and make new friends. It's really a good thing for me and I am glad I finally did it. I just haven't been super happy lately...probably because I feel guilty about putting her through this. it's hard when I receive phone calls with her crying saying she so lonely and I'm hanging out with people and having fun. I hope everything will work out though, I hope I realize what I need to make me happy. I also am going to miss Kelli this summer!! and I still miss my sister, but again more time for me to make new friends!! it's what I need!!! and I am trying to make this summer about me!

Mel

Born this way- Lady Gaga

So these past two weeks have been amazing!! I met an amazing girl who went to the same college as me and knows my best friends!! Our first date was Tuesday June 19th and it was the best first date I have ever been on. Then I can to Boston last Thursday and stayed with her and we went to the beach , bought fireworks, went to castle island, saw rainbows, fireworks, and even lightning. I'm the happiest I have ever been when im with her and it feels great! I'm going to camp for a month though and I won't be able to see her that much which is kinda awful... But i like her soo much! I wish she would ask me to be her girlfriend and make it official... I think she's scared of that because I'm going away soon... But I wanna be with her! I feel so close to her and comfortable already which is scary but when I'm with her I feel like I can't get close enough.... I can be myself around he r and not be scared that I'll get yelled at or have to explain my every action... I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend last night but I chickened out... I'm afraid of being rejected...

I'm also really upset for Mel... She isn't herself lately because she's on a break with her girlfriend to figure out her life but she still doesn't know what to do... I've been in her shoes before and it sucks but sometimes you have to do these things now before it becomes a problem in the future. You also can't change a person... They have to want to change... I really hope she figure it out because she's my friend and I hate seeing her miserable... I want happy Mel again!!

I also miss my best friend... I haven't seen Amanda in forever and she's the only person I can go crazy with!!! I'm having withdrawals!! Amanda!!!!

-Kelli

Someone like you-Adele

So I just came back from being on vacation for a week! The first two days were blah because the weather stunk. It was cold and rainy. But the last two days were beautiful! I spent the entire two days on the beach. Barely did any of my summer reading... Oh well. Thursday Mel and I celebrated fathers day and got lobsters they were yummy! Friday we went to Ogunquit and met up with Kelli and her friend. It was so much fun! especially because we got to ride in her friend's jeep wrangler to the beach without a roof!
We had to end our vacation early so we could go to the our family picnic...I brought Kevin, the poor guy was introduced to like my entire family full force. But we went tubing and on the jet ski so I hope that helped a little! Mel invited her girlfriend to come to the family picnic too...but as a friend so she wouldnt feel alone. I kind of felt bad for both of them. Because it was clear mel just wanted a friend, but she wasnt being very friendly to her and I felt bad because mel thought she was doing everything wrong and audrey felt left out.
Anyway i had a talk with them and then they had a talk...who knows how it turned out...but I hope they are both happy! Thats all I want....Is for everyone to be happy.

-Amanda

Will You be there in the Morning- Heart

So I am having a lot of ups and downs this past week.  It started last weekend when I went to Kelli’s graduation party and that weekend some stuff went down that are best left unmentioned but it started to make me think.  Then Kelli’s dad was going in for surgery and I was trying so hard to be there for her because I was her closest friend and I know I would want a friend that I can lean on if I was going through that so I was trying the best I could to be there for Kelli. 

Unfortunately my girlfriend did not like that. Being there for kelli had caused me to cancel a few plans with her and she felt like I was cheating on her. She said that I would rather spend time with kelli than with her.  Well her acting all jealous and trying to control who I hang out with is really pushing me away and making me upset.  As she was walking me to the T station she got super upset and we left each other upset.  Halfway through my train ride I receive a message from her saying I hurt her and should not contact her until Tuesday. Of course I got really upset and broke down on the train.  When my sister came to pick me up I was in tears and pretty much cried all the way home.  I decided that this break would be a good thing though. It would give me some time to really think about what I want and what I need.  So I started to feel better.

I then received a message later saying she regrets what she said she acted irrationally and she wants me to call her.  I was taken aback by this and ended up responded saying I am going to take this break and not talk to you until Tuesday.  Unfortunately she did not do the same and has been texting me everyday at least several times a day. Today she even got me to call her because I thought she was hurt or sick. 

I really want to be free to meet new people. I am sick of living in this bubble of Simmons crew girls…I wanna meet other people too! I am getting to old to be dealing with all this stuff.  Plus I want to live the life I want to live without being told what to do and feel bad when I do stuff that my gf may not like.  It’s my life for god’s sake not hers!

So I am making a Pros and Cons list of staying with her another list of things she needs to change or let me do if she wants me to stay and be happy.  My list is not complete so I am still not sure…but I will probably show her and see what she thinks. 

So I will be on vacation this week hopefully I can sort this out…

-Mel

Dani California- Red Hot Chili Peppers

I am so happy right now! My sister came home!! Unfortunately she is not :( I went up to providence to pick her up with Kevin. She was fine until about half way through the train ride...Then her girlfriend texted her saying she wanted a few days of no communication. This made mel very upset. So I have been doing everything in my power to cheer her up! I drove straight to the only fro yo place I know of in CT and bought her it! and I brought Kevin home so I could spend some sister time with her. He has been awesome about the whole thing! he actually told me to take him home. Then I got wine for us and my mom bought coloring books! Today we made goat cheese, spinach and avocado grilled cheese! Then we are going to get mani pedi's later and tomorrow brunch! then a week in maine!!! So many good things!! i just hope mel can stop feeling bad and start to enjoy life!! It hurts me to see her so sad! but then again I feel like she hasn't been happy for a while. She used to smile more and was able to let go and have fun easier...now its harder for her, but she is able to do it! but when she does her girlfriend always turns around and makes her feel bad for going out and having a good time... its so annoying! so I am hoping she uses this little break to look at her relationship and see if there is more good then bad. I just want to see her happy again!!!

Today also happens to be my parents 28th wedding anniversary!! wow I also cant seem to stop yawning! I am so tired! blah. Hopefully a week in Maine laying on the beach all day will help!!


-Amanda

Wouldn't it be nice- the beach boys

I am actually happy. I havnt been this happy in a long time. I am so thankful that my dad made it through surgery and is goin to be ok :) I have amazing friends and I'm meeting some awesome people!

-Kelli

Believe-Justin Bieber

Sitting in the waiting room with my mom as my dad gets his surgery done. It's a 9 hour surgery so we will be here for a while. I am thinking positive thoughts and a couple minutes ago my mom and I both had a feeling of relief come over us at the same time which was really strange but cool at the same time.

Everything starts from something or something would nothing and nothing if your heart didn't dream with me.

I am also looking forward to a new chapter in my life after this exam :)
Can't wait!

-Kelli

Boston- Augustana

I haven't written in a week and a lot has gone on...some which I can talk about and some that I can't.
I guess i'll just list what has happened in the past week.
1. continuation of studying for the NCLEX
2. Had my graduation party which was fun
3. dealt with my ex and his family at my party which was not fun because the whole family dynamic is controlling and I can't handle it.... i'm glad hes gone now
4. other stuff happened that's confusing that I can't talk about
5. realizing my ex girlfriend doesn't have feelings for me anymore and doesn't like me and realizing how much it hurts and even when I ask to be friend because I value her friendship especially when I need friends now and she doesn't even respond...
6. My dad is having surgery on Wednesday and we found out last Friday... he has a tumor in his spinal cord and i don't wanna say it but he could become paralyzed but i'm thinking positive thoughts because hes so strong. But I feel like I have no one close around me to go through this and I know my mom is going to be so easily mad at me because she will be stressed and I won't have anyone.
7. Regretting decisions I made a couple years ago
8. Going to the cape at the end of July now so I can help my mother with my father unless things are a lot worse
9. wanting to be in Boston more than ever now
10. having insomnia sucks
11.  I'm really nervous I won't pass my NCLEX
12.  I'm scared
13. Now that I have no one...its the first time since I was 17 where I am completely alone with no one caring for me like I had in a relationship and its scary like wobbly
14. I can't wait for my apartment
15. This is going to be a really hard week
16. I miss my ex girlfriend
17.  Why do I screw things up all the time
18.  I had a lot of fun last night with all my friends but I wish I made a decision that I made last night like 2 years ago
19.  I saw so much family this weekend and it made me realize the people that really care about you when things are scary like my dad's surgery...
20.  I want to be happy.  I want to be so happy...the happiness I felt where everything was going in a positive direction and the last time I felt that way was 1 month ago when I was with my ex-girlfriend...

O well happiness will come.

That's all for now.

-Kelli

All we'ed ever need

So I saw my ex girlfriend today. I was super nervous driving there... She is the first person I've ever driven an hour for just the day. I wish I didn't sweep feelings aside like I always do when I get nervous... Im such a fucking coward... Because now that she moved on I still want her so bad... Like she invited me today and I didn't have to go but I wanted to. I wanted to see her... But I want to know why she wanted to see me... And what happened that made her realize she didn't want to see me until maybe back in boston... I understand that was her first relationship and she wants to take the summer and do whatever and I should too... But i still have such strong feelings for her... We kissed today too and she kissed me first... My feelings we were so strong that I wanted to cry... No one has ever made me feel like that. I could kiss her for days... She knows just how I kiss and she kisses the same (which makes it really enjoyable) but her feelings have changed I know they have which is just why she said to wait to see what happens in Boston instead of a complete good bye... I hate myself... I def don't wanna be the crazy ex like my ex boyfriend was... And what hurt was when she said 2 months ago she would of been super excited for me to come and wouldn't of been able to sleep the night before but this time she was just nervous because she didn't know what we were gonna do... We went through the process at 2 different times.... All I wanna do is spill my heart out to her... I know shes afraid of being Hurt and I won't do it again... I don't wanna sound desperate but I care about her. After talking to Becca the other day she made me realize that when you really like someone you would do anything for them and it shouldn't matter what others think and I would drop everything... O well I guess this is a sign to move on even though I don't want to.. I wish Amanda and Mel lived closer so I could go have fun with them... I even talked to my mom about this because I was so upset... She didn't have much to say but at least she was understanding... I well I'll keep this updated :) I guess just think happy thought and believe :P

-Kelli

What Makes you Beautiful- One Direction

So despite my best friend and my twin sister having a hard time I have had a pretty awesome week! Kevin and I celebrated our one month anniversary. We went out to foxwoods for a really nice dinner and i played the slots and won $33!!! Then we went to a hotel room, and put rose petals in the shape of a heart on the floor! it was really cute!! Then on saturday I went to my house in Bridgeport. It is so cute! I am so excited to live there!! It even has a gas fireplace. :D Then saturday night I went and saw the new snow white movie with Kevin and his family. It was pretty good!

I can't wait until friday when I get to go to Kelli's for the weekend! I am making her an amazingly awesome b day present!! and we are going to spend the whole weekend having dance parties!!


-Amanda

Untitled

I hate him I hate him sooo much!! I try being nice ex boyfriend but all i wanna do is scream....he makes me sooo mad and suffocates me.... then my parents are always wanting my to hang out with him and they invite him over....I am juts trying to be friendly until after my grad party since my mom already him and family (of course she would) I am sooo not happy with life right now....i dont have anyone to talk about any of this because no one would understand.  Then on top of it all my dad has a mass in his back that could be cancerous and all these tests have to be done.... so everytime i go to my mom with my ex boyfriend and life problems she gets mad at me and starts yelling...i wish I had a sibling or a friend that lived closer.  I am afraid to say or ask anything around her...she so fucking frustrating!!!! She should go marry my ex boyfriend if she loves him so much because he kills me and makes me want to run away.... he is even going out on dates with another girl and I dont even care... then on top of all of this I have to study for the NCLEX and its so hard to when all this stressful stuff is going on..... I just need someone to talk to!!! ..................... life sucks

-Kelli

Stop Standing There- Avril Lavigne

This past week has been full of lots of ups and downs for me. I have moved into my summer home and let me say I HATE IT!! Like truly hate it!! I am so home sick and the girl I live with has made me feel less than welcome. The girl who I am subletting from left pretty much all of her stuff so I have to find random places to put my stuff, it is super annoying. My room mate has also reminded me constantly about how she misses her old room mate and the one shopping trip we went on for food she spent the entire time on the phone to her and I did not know what to get…. I don’t think I will end eating half the food I bought. She has offered to make me dinner several nights, but she like doesn’t eat anything but veggies, and I can only live like that for so long. I have been getting heart burn and stomach aches…plus I think I’ve lost like five pounds since I moved lol.  Hummus and greek yogurt can only get me so far.

Now Kelli has moved home for the rest of the summer before she starts her nursing job and I am going to miss her soooooo much!!!! I wanna go with her!! I feel so lonely here, I mean I have my girlfriend and her room mate but I just wish I was home for the summer. It would be a lot less stressful and I would be saving money instead of spending.  Oh well, no use living in the past.

I did get to take Kelli out for her 22^nd birthday! I hope that she had fun. I ended up leaving her and her friend there because I had to go to work at 7:30 the next morning :P I am still working my two jobs and trying to run and work out when I can. Still a semi relaxing summer

-Melissa

Die In Your Arms- Justin Bieber

Now I know what its like to have your heart truly hurt...
I know I started all this bullshit but come on! I was honest with my feelings at every moment and never left her hanging...
She has me in a giant mind fuck and i can't go out until I spiral out of control...
Shes probably planning this...to fuck me over like she thinks I did...I mean I was wrong and messed this up but I was honest and stressed!
Have finals, graduation, a controlling emotionally abusing ex boyfiend constantly at your throat, your values and sexuality changing and trying to be comfortable with it, all while your parents are bashing on your life...You would have crazy emotions and do irrational things!

And after all that...I still wanna give us a chance....

UGGGGHHHHH

Can't Buy Me Money- The Beatles

   So I spent the past two days with Kevin and I still love him! :) we walked teddy at harkness, made dinner together (totally vegetarian with lots of fresh vegetables! and he liked it!!), twice attempted to watch a scary movie but i got to scared both times, and went and saw the harvard yale regatta with my friend sarah. Today we are going out to breakfast then I have to clean the house a little before I pick up melissa from providence and we are going to play bingo tonight! I wish Kelli were coming!
       I am so happy with my life right now! He is scared that something is going to happen when we both start school. I don't think anything will change other then how often we see each other, but like with what I told Kelli if we see each other less it just makes the time we spend together more meaningful and special!

There She Goes- Sixpence None the Richer

I want my feelings to go away but they can't but I might of screwed myself over with the tumblr post I created yesterday...

Landslide- Fleetwood Mac

Sorry I have been neglecting the blog lately, for one I have been without internet for about three days except at work and I have also been moving and such.  I am currently in temporary residence at my girlfriends until Sunday when the girl occupying my summer room moves out on the 27^th.  This has not been the easiest thing to do because I had to split my belongings up and was not too conscious of how I did that.  So I ended up asking to go to the apartment several times to retrieve some of my belongings.  My stuff is also taking up a good majority of my girlfriends small room. I feel terrible about this.  But it will soon be over and I will move into my permanent summer home and then my apartment for the year!

            So this summer I am basically just working at my two jobs starbucks and my school’s sports center. It’s not a bad deal except I have to pay rent and such buuuut I have already saved up enough money J yay!!! I also just was asked by my old coach if I was interested in a full time job at my school so of course I was like YES! And it’s an admission’s counselor position and I really really hope it works out!!!! That would be AMAZING!!!! So finger’s crossed. 

            This weekend I will also hopefully be going to play BINGO with my sister and a few friends will come. I am getting my work schedule tonight to figure out the final details.  I’m working for another hour at the sports center then we’re having a house warming party tonight with JELLO SHOTS!!! Woot!!!!

- Melissa

I Won't Give Up- Jason Mraz

Things on my mind:

Scarlet Crayons

Scarlet Crayons,

home work hang outs,

playlists,

chipotle,

secret notes.

Long hugs,

Soft kisses,

cuddling,

and bracelets.

Tumblr posts and,

Lady Antebellum,

Just a kiss was a good song.

Sunburns and

aloe,

Boy meets world.

Smiling while kissing,

and holding hands.

Late night meetings,

and getting yelled at by public safety for nothing.

Laughs,

drawings,

stupid youtube videos,

music,

and sleepovers.

And most of all your eyes,

your laugh,

your smile,

your taste,

your hugs,

your stories,

just you.

Nothing is Real- The Goo Goo Dolls

So I always look for signs in life and in songs but even after all the dumb shit I said about chipotle being the only place I went with my ex...I still thought about her the whole time while I was there for dinner and she even texted me while I was there...I don't know if thats a sign or a coincidence but still... It was kinda cool :)
-Kelli

Payphone- Maroon 5

So I'm back at school... but only for 2 weeks :)
I'm here for the NLCEX review then I'll be back at home to study more and take the exam :)
I'll be 22 in 11 days!! I am getting old!! ahhhhhhh..... ugh I hate having to grow up...the second I got my diploma saying I have my bachelor in science i was like...shit just got real... it was scary lol
I really wanna go to the camp for 2 weeks and get away...I had another interview today but I would have to commute and I would live at home but it almost sounds really nice to just get away for 2 months.  I would meet awesome people from Ireland, England, Scotland, Australia, and from the US.  I can really evaluate my life and the decisions I want to make and who i want to be with and who matters most.  Who knows I might meet someone at camp...but it is sounding more and more desirable as time goes on.  Then I'll be home for a week and then I'll be back in Boston in my apartment :)
what to do what to do...
And all I can think about is my ex-girlfriend...I miss her so much... I guess I will have to wait until september 2012 :)

-Kelli

Tongue Tied- Grouplove

This will be a blog post from myself (amanda) and Kelli, because I am currently residing at Kelli's house...

So I have been having an awesome week! I just finished my final!! hopefully I did well and now I can enjoy my summer! It feels so good to be done! of course it wont last long...my grad school starts Aug. 27th. blah. But I am excited for the program! Just not the location. I do however have a house so that is kind of cool.
Also Kevin has been absolutely amazing, he ended up meeting my parents on accident, he didn't leave soon enough soooo it was a "hey parents, wanna meet Kevin?" moment, but it went well. I knew before he even left that they liked him :) He even got me a dozen roses and put them on my car while I was at work.

-Amanda

So I guess its been a while since we have updated...
Things have been kind of hectic with finals, pinning for nursing, graduation, things happening in each other's lives and job offers.
I had pinning on the 17th which is a nice ceremony for nursing students and instead of getting capped like they did a long time ago we get pinned.  Then yesterday I had graduation...it doesn't seem real....I still feel I haven't graduated...I really don't wanna grow up but I guess I have to.
I also had my first job offer to be a camp nurse for 9 week on the Cape.  I mean it will be a super awesome experience and I will learn a lot as well as figure out what I want with life but I don't wanna be away from friends and family for that long... but that is part of growing up. :)
And then I texted my ex-girlfriend because I wanted to figure some things out...I wanted to clear the air and wonder why we didn't even give us a chance...I was selfish and childish with finals and didn't think about her feelings which is something I am trying to work on.  I need to learn to not push the ones I am closest to away...but we came to the agreement of using the summer to figure our lives out and figure our feelings out..she knows exactly how she feels and knows her life situation but I am out in left field with everything which is sooo annoying but that was one of the many things I liked about her...the fact that she always knew what she was doing with her life and how she felt about things...she was on top of her shit... and I'm not...
But she texted me yesterday which made me super happy but I was having a small family party and of course my mother invited my ex boyfriend Mike because he was there for most of college and he is my friend but he saw that my ex girlfriend had texted me and he threw a fucking fit...I don't wanna deal with his issues anymore...which is why I am super excited to go away for 9 weeks but why the hell is he looking at my phone...what gives him the right to do that and first of all who gives him the right to tell me who I can and cannot hang out with...ugh!!  well I hope this summer will be helpful!
I will update again soon :)

-Kelli

We Are Young- Fun

I have officially survived my first full year of graduate school.  Boy were there some bumps in the road such as me dropping down to part time, marginally passing a class, dropping from my placement and feeling like there is no one in the world that wants me to be a social worker.  But I have learned so much too. I learned my limitations and my dreams. I have never had such a desire to be a social worker before, because yeah I kind of picked my career out of the clouds and never put much thought into it but man all I want to do is become one now. Partially because I want to say a big F you to Simmons and an “I told you so!” but also I can not wait to help people! I know I have always wanted to do that…that is no surprise but now I can pretty much hand select the population and environment I want to work in! YES!!

            So it is bittersweet I am done with my first year. I have two more to go and two more placements.   All I can do is hope for the best and pray I enjoy my first year placement at a shelter. I will be spending my summer in beantown working two jobs and volunteering so at least I will be active. I also hope to get some much needed relaxing done. I must admit I am already starting on that J

-Melissa

If Today was your last day- Nickelback

I have had a great weekend so far!! On friday after my class I drove up to boston and Kevin came up with me. He met Kelli and then we went out to dinner at a nice Italian restaurant in the north end and I got us tiramisu from Mike's and we ate it outside in a park. It was so nice! then we met Mel and Kelli at a bar. I really like him a lot!! He has made me smile so much! and he even enjoys sitting with me while I do my homework! I still don't know how Mel feels about him, but she doesnt hate him which is good! I am sure if she sees me more and sees how happy I am she will decide how she feels. I know Kelli is happy I am happy, she has been able to see it more.
       When we were at the bar there were a few guys who came up and started to talk to me, kelli and mel, and Kevin looked pissed. But then I walked away with him and asked him what was up. And he was telling me that it had reminded him of past girlfriends. But he said it was also different because he felt he could trust me. :)
       I also had to say good bye to kelli for two whole weeks!!!!!! i will get to see her again after my final on the 19th and after she graduates on the 18th! I wish I could go up and see her graduate but i can't take the day off work because there are already three people who requested it off.
       I now have to go and survive frappicino happy hour....ugh. help me!!


-Amanda

All of the Lights- Kanye West

I ran into her today and all I wanted to do was hug her and tell her it was going to be ok... I care about her a lot still...I mean we were friends before anything else and i'm never going to stop caring about her... I saw her almost every day so its weird not seeing her... I hope shes ok....
I know she hates me...I don't blame her...i'm sure I ripped her heart out.... But I know I did the right thing...
-Kelli

Memories- David Guetta

Bad news:..... My girlfriend and I broke up...I feel like shit and shouldnt of done that but I did it and now I have to love with it...  I need to figure out myself and not be with anyone.  I had also broken up with my boyfriend 3 weeks before and I rushed into it too quickly...I should of said I wasn't ready but I thought I was.  My ex boyfriend also went on a date with another girl and she met his brothers and it made me feel like I wanted to say "Those are my brothers" I told this to Amanda and we both agreed that I think this opened my eyes.  I need to be single for a while and graduate and move into my apartment and get a job and live life :) I just wish I could be friends with her, we were only together for a month... I hope we can be in the future.

Good News:
DONE WITH NURSING SCHOOL!!!

Now I don't know what to do with myself :) I feel like I have a nursing thing to do or turn in and its weird that I don't for once.... I mean I still have an English final on Saturday but its for a pass/fail class so I'm not worried.

WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
I also can't wait for Amanda to get here on Friday :)

Now to catch up on Boy Meets World :)

-Kelli

Overboard- Justin Bieber

ooooo life...what direction do you want me to go now.... I have been pulled in so many directions which has helped me be the person I am today but I hate the process of being hurt and hurting others along the way.  I have made so many awesome friends and others not so much, but in the end I hope this will all be worth it.

-Kelli

Part of me- Katy Perry

I am writing this post because I really do not want to be writing my final paper.  I am so freaking close to being done and this paper is killing me.  It doesn’t help that it is about this woman who experienced so much hardship and loss I feel like I am not giving her enough praise.  Oh well, I have been at the library since 10am and it is currently 2pm. I am on my last section that I have to write and then I have to add all my sources and such.  I feel like I am going to be going over the page limit because this woman’s biography alone takes up three pages.  I cannot wait for my summer to began I am six days away. Though I do have to work all summer long so I can pay to live in this awesome city. 

            I also am freaking out because this will be the first summer I won’t be home. I am very nervous and sad.  I won’t be near the beach and I won’t be with my family and means I’m growing up. I don’t want to be an adult yet I just want to be a kid again.  I did make sure I took enough vacation time (2 weeks) to be home with my family. I will also probably be coming home randomly throughout the summer too. 

            I am looking forward to be living in an apartment. This will be the first time I am going to be in one, and with someone else. I hope it will all work out. Well I better get back to this torturous paper.

-Melissa 

We Found Love- Rihanna

Okay so my week has been kinda awesome. I've been talking to Kevin a lot, and he took me out last night. We went out for dinner and saw the Nicholas sparks movie. It was a lot of fun! I always get nervous that on a date you will like run out of things to talk about, but that has never happened with Kevin. He's super super nice! He even got me flowers :) which are very pretty! He also updated his facebook status to "Best date ever!!! Shes amazing!!! Cloud 9!" He opened the car door for me too. I am sooo not used to all of this stuff. Its kinda weird.
       Anyway he is coming to Boston on Friday to meet Kelli and Mel. :) Then I am staying until Sunday with Kelli and we are going to go out to landsdowne. Thats all for now. I have got to get some homework done.
       Oh yeah I am also going to play bingo on Monday at Foxwoods. Lets hope I bring in the money!! :D


-Amanda

Days Go By -Keith Urban

Maybe I should just be alone...that way I won't hurt anyone but myself...i can just concentrate on myself and then no one would hate me.... why does life have to be so difficult! well all that matters is that in the end the ones who truly care about me will be there and the rest won't matter.  Sometimes I wish I would keep my mouth shut and not people all the bad things about someone and just the good and then keep those things to myself except for select people who actually care about me and just want me to be happy....I have definitely learned my lesson.  I am also transitioning from college life and friends to the real world where I will meet new friends as well :) every stage of life brings new friends and I am excited for that but I am also excited to bring my best friends along with me :)
That's all for now...finals are consuming my life....

I will blog soon :)

-Kelli

It Ends Tonight- All American Rejects

So I have had an emotional roller coster past few days. My weekend was for the most part awesome. Friday Kelli, Mel and I went out to a bar, then Kelli and I went to Landsdowne and danced. I saved Kelli from some creepy guy who tried to kiss us both, made friends with a few yankees fans and had some fun. Saturday I had my class, I got an 80 on my exam, which isn't fantastic but I am just thankful I passed. Then I met Kelli at the T station and we went to harvard square to get our tattoos!! Mel came a little later and was going to get it with us but then had to leave because we had to wait so long. But no worries she has an appointment friday that we are all going to so we can get matching ones :)
       The tattoo turned out great! Jason also came after work to wait with us. I was kinda surprised he stayed the whole time, but glad he did, because even though he wouldn't admit it he does consider me a friend. It has been getting so frustrating with him lately though! Kelli got it sooo right! He spends hours complaining to me about his life, about how he gave up on love, about how his best friend doesnt have time for him. All I want to do is yell at him "If they are too busy for you, then obviously they are not your best friend! and what the fuck do you think I am?!?! you have called me up and spoke to me about everything and I have stopped everything to listen to you!!" but he is too wrapped up in feeling sorry for himself. The next time he says something like that I am going to give him a piece of my mind! I would at least like him to acknowledge the fact that I am a good friend!!
       So saturday after the tattoo I went straight to the Mohegan Sun and saw Augustana for free at the wolf den with my friend Alison. I also invited a guy, Kevin, who had been asking me out for a while. I told Alison that Kevin came into starbucks a lot, thats what I plan on telling everyone, except for Kelli and Mel. I actually met him online. But I am too embarrassed to admit it. He is actually super nice!! he bought both me and Alison a drink. Then Alison left and we had dinner. Its really nice to know that there are guys out there who are actually nice and caring and they are not all like Jason. I hope to see him again!
       So far that was two good things and one bad, and today at work and it will be two good and two bad. So my little friend had a horrible day at school today! and nothing could help him because he is so stubborn and wont let anyone help him, and he for some reason wants to be miserable. So basically today I spent about two to three hours walking around outside with him as he: ran around the building, pulled a tree out of the ground, attempted to throw the tree at the building, threw rocks at the school, yelled, ran away to the town hall, smacked his head against a window for about five minutes and played in the mud. Then once inside the school he went into the principal's office, went through his desk, tried to call everyone whos number he knew, hid in a closet, stole a box of staples and stuck them in boxes and balls, and other random things. None of this is totally unheard of in our school but what was the problem is that usually he will cool down and sleep or find something to at least help him get through the end of the day. But today nothing would help him. He chose to be miserable and dismissed everything else. He wouldnt even wander the halls bouncing a ball against the walls, which is usually what he resorts to at the end of the day.
       So anyway hopefully tomorrow will be better! I don't think I can handle another day like this. It was so sad.


-Amanda

I'd Come for You- Nickelback

So today was a relaxing kind of day. I did not have to go to work until 7am so that was a nice change J. I worked till 12 even though I was supposed to get out at 12:30 but it was super slow so work wasn’t even bad. Then after work I got lunch and chilled for some time before Kelli and I went for a run. We were both not really feeling the run but forced ourselves to keep going because we need to get better. After the run I brought my “HW” over to Kelli’s room, but I really can’t do my hw because all that I have left is a paper and I can’t start the paper until I interview a person over 70 so I am stuck. My mom is going to ask a few of her clients today so hopefully I can interview them and bang this paper out because it is due next Friday… Oh well. So my “HW” consisted on me going on Tumblr, and looking up stuff. A girl I work, with AJ,  has become a terrible influence on me reinforcing all my terrible habits like my love for dance moms and toddlers and tiaras. She also started following me on tumblr and told me about this soccer player who I just spent the last 25/30 mins looking up on tumblr.  I don’t even play soccer!! I never have and yet here I am reblogging photos of this national soccer player :P not good. So now I am trying to be a little productive and writing a blog entry. I am going to a step class at 5 but gotta kill more time since it’s only 3:42 :P I am sure I can find it. That’s all for now!!

-Mel

-Amanda

-Kelli

Knee Deep - Zac Brown Band

So I have no idea what it is, whether the weather or my mood, but I have been obsessed with country music lately.  The only stations on Pandora I have been listening to are Zac Brown Band, Brad Paisley, and Jason Aldean and if I am not listening to country then its Th Fray or Usher Radio.  I am finally truly happy... I feel like a cheese ball every time I am around my girlfriend and I have amazing friends :) The only thing is I would like to eventually be friends with Mike, because if you erase all of the bad things he did, and lets face it no ones perfect, hes a nice guy.  I never thought he didn't care about me, he was just suffocating at times and cared about me wayyyy to much.  And thats not necessarily a bad thing, but it is when you are 45 minutes away from each other for 4 years, hes gets crazy hahaha but we will see, I am giving it space now :)

So on Saturday Amanda, Melissa, and I went to get our tattoos!! Mel wasn't able to go because we waited 3 hours and then she had a prior commitment that she couldn't miss, but shes getting hers friday :) It was such an anxiety full process, between getting the guts to just go do it, then waiting around for 3 hours, then sitting in the room as he set everything up :) The actual process didn't really hurt, it felt like a scratching, but not like shots at the doctors.  Amanda and mel will both have the word imagine and I was originally going to get Believe in Yourself but I changed it to simple and sweet; Believe :) I love it!! Its in an awesome spot that I can easily hide :) The pictures of me and amandas will follow after this.

I am getting really mad at Jason.... The guy amanda has been mentioning.  He always calls her with his problems and never takes time to ask her about her life.  he is going to lose her as a friend if this continues, a frendship goes both ways and hes always complaining about lonely he is, he has amanda!! If he would just acknowledge the fact that she is at least a good friend and thanks for listening to me or how are things with you...I am getting mad at him, never mind amanda.... And then he shows up when Amanda gets her tattoo, maybe he wanted to be there for her but the whole time he was complaining about his job and etc etc etc...it wasn't anything fun.... I don't know.... guys are very frustrating...

Peace,

Kelli

Jump Then Fall- Taylor Swift

I am supposed to be writing my last paper of the semester right now but it is extremely hard for me to do this because I have not yet interviewed the person. It is due in two weeks and I have not given it a single thought which makes me nervous because I want to do well on it. I am at work and was hoping to at least do the outline here, but I do not have any of the sources I need and have been on Tumblr and Facebook all morning. Oh well. I am sure it will get done. I have two more hours and then I am either going to go with Kelli and Amanda to get a tattoo or chill. I am almost done with the semester and it’s just so hard to do this paper. Ugh. Hopefully I will get everything in on time.  This past week I just presented a project that was worth 90% of my grade and interviewed for my field placement for the following year. They both went well, I will be interning at the place I interviewed at so I am excited! These things also make it hard to concentrate on school :P oh well. Tomorrow I will get some work done. That’s all for now :)

-Melissa

Just Dance -Lady Gaga

Hey! So I've had lots of late night phone calls from my buddy jason, one time he called me just to let me know he was going to kill someone because they were to lazy to pick up a food basket at a store....yeah... hes a special one.

I also had an interesting day at one of my jobs. A really hot dude walked in and my shift supervisor got this huge grin on her face and she was harassing me all night about getting his name and number. She was like "you work at starbucks where customer service is the first priority so I think you should get his name for the cup. And then get his phone number just in case there are any problems with his drink." lol I wish I had talked to him! but I am too shy. Another guy asked me what my nationality was and when I named them he was like "I knew you were italian because of your nose"...no offense but my nose is pretty no discript. Nothing special. but OKAY lol. he also came back up and said i looked like i was a very environmentally conscious person because i was wearing bracelets... uhh okay...weird.

Anyway...I cant wait to go out dancing tonight with my BFF kelli! hehe Then tomorrow after my class we are going to get tattoos and then I am going to a free concert at the Mohegan Sun, Augestana! woot woot!

love ya!
Amanda

Dirt Road Anthem- Jason Aldean

It's so weird how you go almost 2 days without seeing the person you care about most and it feels like weeks! I have never been in a relationship where I care about and miss someone so much.
And an update on the leg/mole....I went for my second opinion and they want a second pathologist to look at the slides to get a definite diagnosis and then they will go from there, but they are pretty sure its nothing.  I hope they are right...otherwise I will need a lymph node biopsy whcih can leave me with a swollen leg for the rest of my life....ughhhhh but the doctor I saw is usually against that surgery so thats good :)
So all that I have left between me and graduation is 2 papers, 2 exams, 1 project, 1 simlab, and 3 clinicals!!! O MY GOD!!! I am super pumped but I also have horrible senioritis and procrastinate like a crazy person.
And an update from my last blog about my mother.... We talked it out and we are fine now :) being an only child makes you very close to your mom and she is basically my best friend and fights happen but we always clear it up :)
Amanda and I are going tonight for a much needed fun drunk night :) we are trying to get Mel to join for a little while but I think she might be caught up with cinnamon buns and her girlfriend...blahhh
My girlfriend will be MIA due to 4/20 and she celebrates that and I don't...I mean I would try it once just to say that I did it but I would never become a pot head.

And tomorrow Amanda and are getting out tattoos!!! I am so pumped!!!
We will update about that later :)
Sorry this blog is kinda boring and all over the place but enjoy! :)

-Kelli