Dancing in a Burning Room- John Mayer

So I feel like I should star in my own L word... starring Mel.  First of all, I moved into my new apartment with the help of friend and now my ex girlfriend and everything was fine.  I went to a concert with her and her parents and had a great time.  The next day she didn't wanna hang out while I waited for Mel's furniture and she wanted to hang out with her room mate which was fine.  So a couple hours later she says she is going to come get me later and then 30 minutes later she says her room mate reminded her of things that happened in a past relationship which made her think and then she found out her ex left her for a 40 year old man and then got an email from her ex so she couldnt see me.  SO I met up and we talked and we agreed that we needed a couple days of space but within a day I knew I wanted to be with her and she was going to come over until 60 minutes before she decided she couldnt and needed more space.  SO I gave her the space and she came over last sunday and broke my heart.  Basically said she didn't care about me and didn't feel butterflies or rainbows and has been having doubts for the past 2 weeks.  Like what the fuck.  Thanks for tearing my heart out, frying it, and dancing on it and throwing it back it.  I was miserable for the first couple of days.  The things with a broken heart is that you can't make it go away, only time makes it go away which sucks.

So I went on okcupid to try to get over her and I talked to a few girls and then Mel found her on there. Like seriously?! over me that fast??? In 5 fucking days! whatever...I do want to be friends with her and I hope I am able to do that. 

All week long I just concentrated on my new job and getting into that and I talked to a couple girls...one with really poufy hair and i'm not into that and the other girl was super cool but had court on Friday which is kind of scary lol but she is super nice. Then I talked to this other girl and giving my number was mistake because she called and wouldn't get off until I lied about my room mate needing help and then I deleted her because she was stalkerish and I woke up to a text this morning saying that I was a cunt...and I just laughed.  I mean I only wants friends right now anyways but I've come to the conclusion that girls are fucking crazy!
I also met up with me ex girlfriend from last school year and it was really nice, I had a really good time, I missed her :)
Maybe I could be Shane from the L word...except I am super girly and don't sleep around...hmmm maybe I am more of an alice.
And lastly, I get an email from my ex this afternoon saying she really wants to be friends and of course I do too and I'll give it a try, I just don't know when or if I will be able to see her and not feel anything...I hope I can :)

-Kelli