So I am having a lot of ups and downs this past week. It started last weekend when I went to
Kelli’s graduation party and that weekend some stuff went down that are best
left unmentioned but it started to make me think. Then Kelli’s dad was going in for surgery and
I was trying so hard to be there for her because I was her closest friend and I
know I would want a friend that I can lean on if I was going through that so I
was trying the best I could to be there for Kelli.
Unfortunately my girlfriend did not like that. Being there
for kelli had caused me to cancel a few plans with her and she felt like I was cheating on her. She said that I would rather spend time with kelli than with
her. Well her acting all jealous and
trying to control who I hang out with is really pushing me away and making me
upset. As she was walking me to the T
station she got super upset and we left each other upset. Halfway through my train ride I receive a
message from her saying I hurt her and should not contact her until Tuesday. Of
course I got really upset and broke down on the train. When my sister came to pick me up I was in
tears and pretty much cried all the way home.
I decided that this break would be a good thing though. It would give me
some time to really think about what I want and what I need. So I started to feel better.
I then received a message later saying she regrets what she
said she acted irrationally and she wants me to call her. I was taken aback by this and ended up
responded saying I am going to take this break and not talk to you until
Tuesday. Unfortunately she did not do
the same and has been texting me everyday at least several times a day. Today
she even got me to call her because I thought she was hurt or sick.
I really want to be free to meet new people. I am sick of
living in this bubble of Simmons crew girls…I wanna meet other people too! I am
getting to old to be dealing with all this stuff. Plus I want to live the life I want to live
without being told what to do and feel bad when I do stuff that my gf may not
like. It’s my life for god’s sake not
hers!
So I am making a Pros and Cons list of staying with her
another list of things she needs to change or let me do if she wants me to stay
and be happy. My list is not complete so
I am still not sure…but I will probably show her and see what she thinks.
-Mel
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